Shit happens

On Thursday morning I worked from home and was able to take my dad to a lunchtime doctor’s appointment. That morning the doctor’s staff called several times asking about blood test results that they should’ve been able to get from another doctor.  My dad was annoyed as hell and feeling well enough to bitch out the doctor.

On Saturday I went grocery shopping for my parents. I bought fresh veggies and made veggie stock. I also made a dozen meatballs. Mom was too busy being Dad’s nurse that I pre-made food so they could just heat up or cook healthy and tasty meals quickly.

On Monday I stopped by to pick up books that I ordered from Amazon along with some other stuff that got delivered to my parents house. I told Dad he had to eat more and do his exercises so he could get strong again. He told me that Luke Walton had gotten hired as the Lakers head coach because he knows I’ve been following the Warriors this season.

On Tuesday my sister took my dad to his doctor appointment. Doc said cancer in his back shrank so I was pleased to hear the radiation helped. In hindsight, my sister thought Dad’s cancer doc was too hopeful and not realistic with us.

On Wednesday, Dad was admitted for in-patient chemo. I requested an Uber to transport him and Mom to Queens. That evening I visited and he was no longer talking. He was in pain. He was really drugged up. He slept early and  Mom and I left for home early.

On Thursday my mom got a call from his doctor saying Dad is confused so they’ve moved him closer to the nurse’s station. When I visit he doesn’t say anything. Dinner is untouched. 

On Friday, chemo is stopped. There’s nothing that can be done. Did you know a side effect of cancer treatment is cancer? This one spread to his abdomen and lungs. When I visit, my dad is mostly sleeping and no longer very responsive. He reacts by grunts and moans at the sound of his sister’s voice – a call from the Philippines – but he is no longer talking. 

On Saturday he’s not able to take meds orally or open his mouth. He’s mostly sleeping and unresponsive. 

On Sunday, Mother’s Day, he’s nearly completely unresponsive. His hands lie limp. My family fills the hospital room in three  separate shifts to say their goodbyes. Dad manages to open his eyes but he appears unfocused and is unresponsive. I know he heard us praying over him and sharing our love for him.  As she gives Dad his morphine dose, a single tear falls from his right eye which I see the nurse quickly wipe away…probably to spare us even more sadness. 

At 10pm that night Mom calls my sister and I back to the hospital – the nurse says his time is near. They can tell because a dying man breathes shallow breaths. I stay up all night. I can’t sleep and the rollaway bed and chair are both uncomfortable. Inbetween episodes of SVU on Hulu, I watch my dad inhale….and exhale…And at 405am I watch his last exhale and the last bit of stored energy leave his earthly body. He left this world in peace and I’m glad I witnessed it. 

Dad, I was devastated and scared when you were diagnosed with cancer in 2011 and I remember mom saying the docs said it was aggressive and un-cure-able. But what made it easier to cope with was that for the majority of these past few years, you looked great! You were actively volunteering in church, driving around to run errands and to your various doctors appointments. Even though you didn’t appear sick, I know you struggled with horrible pain and discomfor and It was especially difficult to see you suffering toward the end. You were so resilient. You fought a courageous battle with an ugly, mean disease and I’m relieved that you can finally be in a place without pain. I love you dad; please continue watching over us and visit often. 


stuff do to

sometimes, I like to think of stuff I want to have available when I’m flithy rich. my list is pretty simple:

  1. a Range Rover. or a Toyota Tacoma. I’d just like to drive a truck or SUV. and maybe also a Mini for those days when I know I’ll have to street park.
  2. a Hot Tub. Gonna need something to relax in after a hard day’s work stacking paper.
  3. a Bidet toliet. I lived in an apartment for a year and my toliet had a bidet. I look back on those days and regret not using the various functions everytime i went to the bathroom. 

One of my goals this year is to travel by airplane at least twice. I’m working on making that happen…even if it just means flying to a neighbor island and spending a couple days there.

Here’s another San Francisco photo from my recent vacation. Next time, I think I’ll walk over the bridge. 


most noteable toliet experience of San Francisco vacation

It’s been a while since I’ve written anything that’s not been related to work! So hello…I’m so glad to be here!

Just came back from an awesome vacation to San Francisco. I’m ready to go back! Or maybe I’m just ready to be on vacation again. Either way, I thought I’d note my most memorable toliet experience of the trip. 

We drove up to Twin Peaks to take-in the view and it’s where I also had the chance to try out the city’s fantastic self-cleaning toliet program which is free for public use. It’s pretty great. The person ahead of you exits; the door auto closes and for like 5 minutes, the bathroom “cleans” itself. You watch the digital screen and when the cleaning process is complete, the screen displays a message that the bathroom is ready for use. Next, push a button and the door auto opens. You get a max of 20 minutes…i’m not sure what happens if the person before you takes longer than that though – the door opens up on your weirdest fantasy I guess.

Once I walked in the first thing I notice is that everything – toliet seat and floor – is damp. I deduce that the cleaning process is to dump a load of water over the entire toliet, washing away any fluids, streaks or other nastiness from the previous user. Then, a strong fan blows to somewhat dry the facility. What I notice next, as I’m grabbing toliet paper to place on the seat, is that there is no seat – just the rim of the toliet. Not a big deal since I’ve been practicing my squats but what about the elderly? Are they also able to just hover over the rim while doing their business??

Overall I was very pleased at how clean the toliets where in the many, many bars and restaurants I visited all throughout San Francisco (and parts of Oakland too!). 

Here’s the one photo I took of Twin Peaks.




Four days in to the new year…how did you welcome it?

After spending most of the evening with my family, it wasn’t till 11:40 p.m. that my BF and I ran down to our new favorite neighborhood bar to meet up with other friends. When we got there they’d already headed home, so instead we toasted 2015 with our new favorite bartender!

My best accomplishment of 2014 is quitting smoking. Well, OK, I’ll still light one up occasionally but after 20+ years, I finally feel like I’ve broken that bad habit, especially since I was buying a pack or two at least once a week. And this past year I can honestly say I probably have only bought about 5 or so packs total!!

Now that 2015 is here, I wrote down 5 goals to accomplish.


Please forgive that I overused “more” – most of these are things I’m already doing but very minimally.

In addition to more running and yoga-ing, I’m trying to be more mindful of what I eat…and how I eat so, taking each bite into consideration since I have a tendency to stuff my face unnecessarily.

For my BF’s birthday, his mom sent him Bryant Terry’s Afro-Vegan cookbook and it’s my favorite thing of 2015 (so far). We tried about 4 recipes from it and each was so delicious!


I’m excited for what the year has to offer! Happy New Year!

birthday week break

Took the week off to celebrate turning a year older. It was quite relaxing, especially the end of my vacation since Tropical Storm Ana kept me indoors – and in my PJs – all weekend.


Sang karaoke hits at 9th Ave Rock House and gulped down various birthday shots. I got tipsy and my lei is looking busted.


Was invited to a beach BBQ not realizing it was in honor of my friend’s son who turned two. Didn’t bring a gift, was too embarrassed to acknowledge it and will probably not be invited to future kid bday parties…which I’m totally OK with.


Ate breakfast with my family at the new Liliha Bakery. My sister requested her eggs over easy on top of her pancakes.


Spent Friday exploring Bishop Museum with the BF. We spent 4 hours there and didn’t get to see everything. I haven’t visited this Museum since childhood but I’m so glad we visited because I love learning about Hawaii history. The only reason we didn’t get through all the exhibits is because we didn’t realize their Cafe is closed for renovations and we needed a snack.


My parents gifted me with a Crock Pot. The BF and I used it tonight to make carnitas…amazing! I love my new cooking toy! The portion of carnitas on the plate is tiny so I ended up eating seconds. OINK!

Skills to pay the bills

I really admire writers who can weave a great story, and who can make their readers feel some emotion! I’m not one of those types but one day I hope my reader can relate to some of the things I write about. So, I have a goal to practice these rusty skills and am dedicating daily time to writing. Ideally I’d love this practice to lead to being someone who gets PAID to write! Not that I don’t love my current profession and I’m happy that it does involve some writing, but I’m really trying to think of a way where I can rent a beach house on the California Coast, write my memoirs for a future iBook and call that my career. Ha!

Latetly, I’ve been obsessively watching Parenthood on Netflix. It’s so easy to get sucked in since episodes “auto start” once one finishes. I could – and often do – find myself watching hours and hours of Netflix. In the back of my mind I want to say f*ck this blog, shut down WordPress and open up Netflix. But I’m stopping myself from acting like an addict.

Parenthood is a really sweet show about three generations of the Braverman family – their hangups, their accomplishments, their downfalls. I suppose I’m really in to the show because it makes me think that this is how a “real” family acts. Not to say that my family isn’t “real” but the camaraderie and the conversation that the Bravermans have is something I feel I’ve never experienced with my family.

Here’s a clip from one of the episodes I recently watched.

And, here’s an obligatory photo of my cat, Beaches el Gato.


My writing skills are rushed and sloppy. Perhaps, dear reader, you’re not into my style or my topics. But I hope you’ll at least return for more of Beaches el Gato and other random photos! Now, leave me be as I’m off to watch Parenthood.